Crystal Sinsabaugh
Ellie’s childhood wasn’t always great, she had ups and downs, but when the
big fight happened it pushed her into a downward spiral. Ellie grew up in Orlando,
Florida with her parents, Jane and Michael and her best friend Lani, who was
basically a sister. The neighborhood Ellie lived in, everyone knew everyone and it
was a close knit neighborhood. Ellie lived three houses down from her best friend
Lani. Ellie’s house was white with red trimming along the doors and windows, the
front yard was big and open and the backyard had a huge garden, which was a
passion Ellie and her mother shared. Ellie always looked up to her parents, they got
along great…in Ellie’s mind. To Ellie they were always in love and happy, however
that wasn’t the case. Ellie’s parents weren’t in love at all but they didn’t want her to
know or see that so they played it off as if they were. Ellie always talked about her
parents, she would tell everyone she wanted a love story like theirs. Everyone in
town knew her parents weren’t a fairy tale couple and couldn’t help feeling sorry for
the young and naïve little girl. Even though Ellie envied her parents it didn’t stop
her and her mom from bickering. They seemed to have a back and forth
relationship, sometimes they were best friends and other times they wouldn’t speak
to each other. As Ellie got older she began to wonder why their relationship was so
up and down. As Ellie entered her teenage years she began realizing things she
never did before, like the fact her neighbors always looked at her with a puppy dog
face, how some of her neighbors suddenly stopped talking to her parents, why her
parents started working later than usual. Ellie started to feel like things were
changing and she didn’t like that, she liked her life and didn’t understand why it had
to change. When Ellie and Lani were 15, tragedy happened that changed both girls
lives forever. It was a Saturday night and it was a ritual for Ellie and Lani to have
sleepovers, they alternated between houses every weekend and this particular
weekend they were at Ellie’s. It was over the summer, a hot and muggy night just
like every other night in Florida, the two girls were upstairs when Ellie’s
parents came in with a devastating look on their face. The girls immediately quit
giggling and Ellie asked, “What’s wrong?”
Her parents didn’t answer right away…they took a deep breath and said.
“Lani your parents were in a terrible car accident, they were brought to the hospital
but they didn’t make it.” The tears welled up in Lani’s eyes , Ellie was in shock but
knew her best friend needed her so she immediately wrapped Lani in a hug, the two
girls sat there unaware of the world around them, Lani soaking up the fact she
would never see her parents again, never feel their touch or hear them tell her they
love her. Neither girl slept that night, Lani sat on the floor just staring out the
window all night, hoping and praying it was all a dream, that her parents would be
there in the morning to pick her up ad Ellie asking if she was okay, if she needed
anything…Lani always shook her head no and continued staring. A few months had
gone by and Lani stayed at Ellie’s house, she had nowhere else to go, until her aunt
she didn’t even know she had suddenly came into town with the initiative to adopt
Lani. However, Ellie’s parents had been doing all the paperwork to adopt Lani
themselves, they broke the news to Lani and she was thrilled…well as thrilled as you
can be after just losing your parents. As the months drew on and the girls got older,
Ellie was becoming more and more aware of her parents relationship. She was
noticing they were distancing from each other, both always coming home late, then
one night Ellie’s mom came home three hours later than she said she would Her dad
was infuriated and confronted her mother and argued for two hours straight. Ellie
locked herself in her room, trying to drown out the sound of the screaming. Lani
wasn’t there with Ellie because she had gone off to college a few months before.
Ellie had put her pillow over her head in another attempt to drown them out, then
all of a sudden she didn’t hear anything. It became dead silent then suddenly she
heard a door slam. Ellie jumped out of her bed and went downstairs, as she made
her way down the staircase and heard the car start. She looked into the living room
and saw her dad sitting on the couch with his head in his hands, crying. “Dad what’s
wrong?” Ellie asked as her voice cracked. “Your mother…she…she left.” What do
you mean she left? She’s coming back right? “I don’t think so Ellie, not this time.”
Ellie sat next to her dad and fell into his arms hysterically crying. A few
weeks go by and Ellie doesn’t hear from her mother, not a single text or call, until
one day. Ellie is home alone while her dad is at work, when she hears the door open,
she sees it’s her mom and they stop dead in their tracks and just look at each other.
“I didn’t know you’d be here,” her mother states. Where else would I be? Ellie can
hear the hatred when she speaks. “I don’t know, tell your father there’s paperwork
on the table for him to sign,” paperwork for what? “I filed for divorce Ellie, I can’t
do this anymore.” So you are just giving up? You’re just going to leave us? “I have
to.”
And with that Ellie’s mom left, leaving Ellie standing there with tears running
down her face. Months went by and Ellie’s mom had tried to call a few times but
Ellie couldn’t answer the phone, she couldn’t bring herself to the realization that her
mom had actually given up on her. Lani came home for break and they spent every
second together. One night they were in Ellie’s room when her phone rang. It’s my
mom. “Answer it Ellie.” Ellie answered the phone, “Ellie I have something I need to
tell you.” What is it? “Before I tell you I want you to know I never meant to hurt you
by leaving. I didn’t give up on you sweetheart.” What do you have to tell me? Her
mom took a deep breath and said, “I’m moving to California and getting married.”
Ellie dropped the phone and her heart sank. She sat there in shock not knowing
what to do.
“Ellie what’ wrong?” My mom…she is getting married and moving to
California. Lani didn’t say anything, she did the exact same thing Ellie had done for
her the night her parents died, she wrapped her in a hug and sat there with her until
she stopped crying. A month later and Ellie was alone again, Lani went back to
school and her dad worked two jobs just to keep them afloat. Then one day she
checked the mail and there it was…an invitation to her mom’s wedding. She hadn’t
seen her mom in over a year and did not even know who this new guy was and yet
her mom expected her to go to her wedding. Ellie decided she wasn’t going but her
dad and Lani both convinced her it might be a good idea, so she got on a plane and
flew to California. Ellie stayed with her mom and fiancé, Brian. He and Ellie got
along but they both knew they would never be close and she would never consider
him her dad or even step dad, just her mom’s husband. A week later it was time for
the wedding. Ellie wasn’t part of the bridal party but she was okay with that, she
sat two rows back and watched. About halfway through the night Ellie’s
grandmother came up to Ellie and started yelling at her, telling her she had no right
being there, that her mom left her for a reason. Ellie’s mom came over to stop her
but not before the tears came rushing down Ellie’s face, but a second later.
Ellie’s grandmother said, “you’re not even her birth child!” Everyone
stopped, Ellie and her mom looked at each other, Mom? “Ellie I’m so sorry.”
And with that Ellie knew what her grandmother said was true. She ran so fast and
didn’t stop until she couldn’t breathe. Ellie called her dad, and had given her money
in case of an emergency, so that night Ellie was on a plane back home. The next
morning when she got home her dad talked to her ad told her everything. That he
and her mother had tried and tried but it just wouldn’t work, so they thought
different options and before they knew it they had Ellie. He told her that her mom
loved her as her own so they didn’t think they needed to tell her. Ellie didn’t reply to
any of it, she just lied in bed for days, not knowing what to do. Then Lani came
home and she convinced Ellie to reach out to her mom, so she does. She calls her
one night and Ellie tells her mom exactly how she feels, she doesn’t hold anything
back this time. They talk for hours and realize that even if they weren’t connected
by blood, they were connected by love. Ellie forgives her mom for leaving and
getting remarried and they make plans for Ellie to go visit for awhile. Ellie’s life
didn’t go the way she had planned when she was a little girl, she thought she would
have a fairy tale life, a life filled with only happiness and love, but she got something
different, she experienced hurt, pain, and challenges, but as Ellie got older she
realized something she hadn’t ever realized…life isn’t a fairy tale, its an adventure
full of ups and downs and changes both good and bad, but that is how you learn and grow.
To read more of Crystal's work, please visit her website.
Ellie’s childhood wasn’t always great, she had ups and downs, but when the
big fight happened it pushed her into a downward spiral. Ellie grew up in Orlando,
Florida with her parents, Jane and Michael and her best friend Lani, who was
basically a sister. The neighborhood Ellie lived in, everyone knew everyone and it
was a close knit neighborhood. Ellie lived three houses down from her best friend
Lani. Ellie’s house was white with red trimming along the doors and windows, the
front yard was big and open and the backyard had a huge garden, which was a
passion Ellie and her mother shared. Ellie always looked up to her parents, they got
along great…in Ellie’s mind. To Ellie they were always in love and happy, however
that wasn’t the case. Ellie’s parents weren’t in love at all but they didn’t want her to
know or see that so they played it off as if they were. Ellie always talked about her
parents, she would tell everyone she wanted a love story like theirs. Everyone in
town knew her parents weren’t a fairy tale couple and couldn’t help feeling sorry for
the young and naïve little girl. Even though Ellie envied her parents it didn’t stop
her and her mom from bickering. They seemed to have a back and forth
relationship, sometimes they were best friends and other times they wouldn’t speak
to each other. As Ellie got older she began to wonder why their relationship was so
up and down. As Ellie entered her teenage years she began realizing things she
never did before, like the fact her neighbors always looked at her with a puppy dog
face, how some of her neighbors suddenly stopped talking to her parents, why her
parents started working later than usual. Ellie started to feel like things were
changing and she didn’t like that, she liked her life and didn’t understand why it had
to change. When Ellie and Lani were 15, tragedy happened that changed both girls
lives forever. It was a Saturday night and it was a ritual for Ellie and Lani to have
sleepovers, they alternated between houses every weekend and this particular
weekend they were at Ellie’s. It was over the summer, a hot and muggy night just
like every other night in Florida, the two girls were upstairs when Ellie’s
parents came in with a devastating look on their face. The girls immediately quit
giggling and Ellie asked, “What’s wrong?”
Her parents didn’t answer right away…they took a deep breath and said.
“Lani your parents were in a terrible car accident, they were brought to the hospital
but they didn’t make it.” The tears welled up in Lani’s eyes , Ellie was in shock but
knew her best friend needed her so she immediately wrapped Lani in a hug, the two
girls sat there unaware of the world around them, Lani soaking up the fact she
would never see her parents again, never feel their touch or hear them tell her they
love her. Neither girl slept that night, Lani sat on the floor just staring out the
window all night, hoping and praying it was all a dream, that her parents would be
there in the morning to pick her up ad Ellie asking if she was okay, if she needed
anything…Lani always shook her head no and continued staring. A few months had
gone by and Lani stayed at Ellie’s house, she had nowhere else to go, until her aunt
she didn’t even know she had suddenly came into town with the initiative to adopt
Lani. However, Ellie’s parents had been doing all the paperwork to adopt Lani
themselves, they broke the news to Lani and she was thrilled…well as thrilled as you
can be after just losing your parents. As the months drew on and the girls got older,
Ellie was becoming more and more aware of her parents relationship. She was
noticing they were distancing from each other, both always coming home late, then
one night Ellie’s mom came home three hours later than she said she would Her dad
was infuriated and confronted her mother and argued for two hours straight. Ellie
locked herself in her room, trying to drown out the sound of the screaming. Lani
wasn’t there with Ellie because she had gone off to college a few months before.
Ellie had put her pillow over her head in another attempt to drown them out, then
all of a sudden she didn’t hear anything. It became dead silent then suddenly she
heard a door slam. Ellie jumped out of her bed and went downstairs, as she made
her way down the staircase and heard the car start. She looked into the living room
and saw her dad sitting on the couch with his head in his hands, crying. “Dad what’s
wrong?” Ellie asked as her voice cracked. “Your mother…she…she left.” What do
you mean she left? She’s coming back right? “I don’t think so Ellie, not this time.”
Ellie sat next to her dad and fell into his arms hysterically crying. A few
weeks go by and Ellie doesn’t hear from her mother, not a single text or call, until
one day. Ellie is home alone while her dad is at work, when she hears the door open,
she sees it’s her mom and they stop dead in their tracks and just look at each other.
“I didn’t know you’d be here,” her mother states. Where else would I be? Ellie can
hear the hatred when she speaks. “I don’t know, tell your father there’s paperwork
on the table for him to sign,” paperwork for what? “I filed for divorce Ellie, I can’t
do this anymore.” So you are just giving up? You’re just going to leave us? “I have
to.”
And with that Ellie’s mom left, leaving Ellie standing there with tears running
down her face. Months went by and Ellie’s mom had tried to call a few times but
Ellie couldn’t answer the phone, she couldn’t bring herself to the realization that her
mom had actually given up on her. Lani came home for break and they spent every
second together. One night they were in Ellie’s room when her phone rang. It’s my
mom. “Answer it Ellie.” Ellie answered the phone, “Ellie I have something I need to
tell you.” What is it? “Before I tell you I want you to know I never meant to hurt you
by leaving. I didn’t give up on you sweetheart.” What do you have to tell me? Her
mom took a deep breath and said, “I’m moving to California and getting married.”
Ellie dropped the phone and her heart sank. She sat there in shock not knowing
what to do.
“Ellie what’ wrong?” My mom…she is getting married and moving to
California. Lani didn’t say anything, she did the exact same thing Ellie had done for
her the night her parents died, she wrapped her in a hug and sat there with her until
she stopped crying. A month later and Ellie was alone again, Lani went back to
school and her dad worked two jobs just to keep them afloat. Then one day she
checked the mail and there it was…an invitation to her mom’s wedding. She hadn’t
seen her mom in over a year and did not even know who this new guy was and yet
her mom expected her to go to her wedding. Ellie decided she wasn’t going but her
dad and Lani both convinced her it might be a good idea, so she got on a plane and
flew to California. Ellie stayed with her mom and fiancé, Brian. He and Ellie got
along but they both knew they would never be close and she would never consider
him her dad or even step dad, just her mom’s husband. A week later it was time for
the wedding. Ellie wasn’t part of the bridal party but she was okay with that, she
sat two rows back and watched. About halfway through the night Ellie’s
grandmother came up to Ellie and started yelling at her, telling her she had no right
being there, that her mom left her for a reason. Ellie’s mom came over to stop her
but not before the tears came rushing down Ellie’s face, but a second later.
Ellie’s grandmother said, “you’re not even her birth child!” Everyone
stopped, Ellie and her mom looked at each other, Mom? “Ellie I’m so sorry.”
And with that Ellie knew what her grandmother said was true. She ran so fast and
didn’t stop until she couldn’t breathe. Ellie called her dad, and had given her money
in case of an emergency, so that night Ellie was on a plane back home. The next
morning when she got home her dad talked to her ad told her everything. That he
and her mother had tried and tried but it just wouldn’t work, so they thought
different options and before they knew it they had Ellie. He told her that her mom
loved her as her own so they didn’t think they needed to tell her. Ellie didn’t reply to
any of it, she just lied in bed for days, not knowing what to do. Then Lani came
home and she convinced Ellie to reach out to her mom, so she does. She calls her
one night and Ellie tells her mom exactly how she feels, she doesn’t hold anything
back this time. They talk for hours and realize that even if they weren’t connected
by blood, they were connected by love. Ellie forgives her mom for leaving and
getting remarried and they make plans for Ellie to go visit for awhile. Ellie’s life
didn’t go the way she had planned when she was a little girl, she thought she would
have a fairy tale life, a life filled with only happiness and love, but she got something
different, she experienced hurt, pain, and challenges, but as Ellie got older she
realized something she hadn’t ever realized…life isn’t a fairy tale, its an adventure
full of ups and downs and changes both good and bad, but that is how you learn and grow.
To read more of Crystal's work, please visit her website.