My hands tremble around my pencil,
every word I write coming out looking like new dialect.
Nothing I do is right.
I’m an utter failure.
I’ll never be successful.
My heart is in my stomach,
pounding out of control in sync with my life.
How am I such an idiot.
I will never survive outside.
Maybe I should just give up.
My knees tremble as I walk,
threatening to collapse here and now,
but I push on.
I push on through the sea of dead-eyed students,
and I feel like I’m drowning alive.
People try and talk to me, but all I can muster
is a tight-lipped smile.
Tight enough so the demons can’t escape.
They hate you.
If you push everyone away, you won’t have any friends.
Nice going, Idiot.
I push through the doors of the classroom
and into my safe haven,
fluorescent lights and a lingering smell of baked goods.
I take a sigh of relief,
I finally am free of my troubles and stress.
You know-
Yes, I know, but for now
I can be happy in this
safe haven built by a teacher
who can trump my anxiety
with a single smile.
To read more of Richie's work, click here.
every word I write coming out looking like new dialect.
Nothing I do is right.
I’m an utter failure.
I’ll never be successful.
My heart is in my stomach,
pounding out of control in sync with my life.
How am I such an idiot.
I will never survive outside.
Maybe I should just give up.
My knees tremble as I walk,
threatening to collapse here and now,
but I push on.
I push on through the sea of dead-eyed students,
and I feel like I’m drowning alive.
People try and talk to me, but all I can muster
is a tight-lipped smile.
Tight enough so the demons can’t escape.
They hate you.
If you push everyone away, you won’t have any friends.
Nice going, Idiot.
I push through the doors of the classroom
and into my safe haven,
fluorescent lights and a lingering smell of baked goods.
I take a sigh of relief,
I finally am free of my troubles and stress.
You know-
Yes, I know, but for now
I can be happy in this
safe haven built by a teacher
who can trump my anxiety
with a single smile.
To read more of Richie's work, click here.